new year, new start

2007 was a year full of mile stones.
my mom got sick and i grew up a lot. i mean, a single mom who works that much has a lot on her plate. throwing that at a fifteen year old unexpectedly kind of made me fall flat on my face. driving everywhere without a license, taking care of the mortgages and bank stuff that i have yet to comprehend, talking to her boss, dealing with nurses and doctors, not being in school like i was suppose to, and those flourescent hospital lights. how is it that hospitals are always so alive, yet contain to breath? maybe it's because i have such a dislike for them; but, i feel like my lungs are constricted in that bleaches air. anyway, i learned that school isn't easy if you're not there. i got a head first dive into driving. i spent fifteen minutes with my first gas pump. i got a car, my dream car. i became friendly with a girl who used to scare me to no end, i was convinced she hated my existance. well, this girl is now my oreo. my scene thing. my best friend. we buy ten dollar kiddie pools and sit all night in five inches of water smoking, drinking, and prank calling. my sister and i have gotten more close than ever. accepting eachother's faults and changing and growing in different ways, but still together. does that make sense? it's obvious growing apart from loved ones is a part of life. i've definitely lost a significant amount of people who i still adore, we just don't have anything in common. it's not bitter, it's life. there will always be connections, but they'll turn into memories. but my sister and i don't fit into that category. i'm a realist. however, i honestly believe that no matter what college we go to, what country i end up living in, how many stupid things are said and done: we will end up growing old on rocking chairs. i will be her kids' aunt. now driving is my escape. i waste so much gas, with the windows rolled down and the music up. not concentrating on anything except the format, backseat goodbye, jack's mannequin, the rocket summer, and the hush sound. the road signs guiding me to nowhere.


why is it that clean slates are so inspiring? .